Freedom fighter Kröd Mändoon (Sean Maguire), still aching from his recent break-up with Aneka (India de Beaufort), tries to return to the "single" scene with Loquasto (Steve Speirs), Zezelryck (Kevin Hart) and Bruce (Marques Ray), but finds no success because he can't stop talking about Aneka. They are interrupted when Aneka's Pagan village home is raided by the evil Chancellor Dongalor (Matt Lucas), who kidnaps all the women and kills all the men with arrows to their perineums; Krod says, "Those taint-shooting bastards." Grimshank (John Rhys-Davies), the warlock for the resistance, reveals Dongalor has raided the village seeking the tears of a Pagan woman, the last ingredient he needs to unleash the deadly ancient weapon, the Eye of Gulga Grymna. Aneka insists Pagan women never cry, but she happily agrees to stay with the handsome Ralph Longshaft (James Murray) at his villa for safe-keeping, much to Kröd's chagrin. Aneka and Longshaft proceed to have sex after making repeated provocative gestures with various food items.
Dongalor and his advisor Barnabus (Alex MacQueen) try to extract tears from the kidnapped women by torturing them, whipping them and peeling onions in front of them, to no avail. Dongalor also tries staging a tragic play with a boy saying goodbye to his dog because his father cannot afford the pet due to the death of his mother, but the Pagan women are unmoved, although Dongalor cries like a baby. Meanwhile, Longshaft tells Kröd and his three friends to go to the Hessemeel Mountains, through the Forest of Certain Death, and light a pyre at the top of a tower to warn the other freedom fighters about the pending danger. The foursome goes through the forest, where they find a strong man has been savagely killed. They are approached by three beautiful wenches, who insist a group of banshees just tried to kill them. When they seek romance from the group, the homosexual Bruce is the only one who is skeptical, until the wenches bring a gay man from the forest for him. The wenches, who are revealed to be Succubi, impregnate Loquasto and Zezelryck after kissing them, as does the Incubus after kissing Bruce.
Kröd, however, refuses to kiss his Succubus because he still misses Aneka. Kröd is attacked by the demons and his possessed friends, but he fights his way loose and kills the Succubi and Incubus, freeing Loquasto, Zezelryck and Bruce. They find the tower, but Kröd realizes he has lost the key Grimshank gave him, so he instead lights it by firing a flaming arrow at the pyre. Once it is lit, however, the group is surprised when the tower explodes and collapses. Grimshank, who watched the scene from a telescope, informs Aneka that Kröd has been killed, causing her to weep on his tunic. He leaves and places the tears in a vial. Meanwhile, Dongalor is told by Barnabus that Grimshank, actually a double agent, has succeeded in killing Kröd and retrieving the Pagan tears needed to activate the weapon.